The Real Crazy Housewives of Oklahoma

As a big fan of any reality show involving Bravo I, of course, watch The Real Housewives...all of them. I mean really how can you not love the crazy that is a woman dressed and pumped up to the nines throwing a table in the middle of a fancy private lunch in front of her children yelling “WHORE!” in a thick New Jersey accent.

It’s television magic.

While I was watching this television magic recently I realized something. Although here at The RHOK we are proper Okie housewives, many of us closely resemble the current cast of the currently televised Real Housewives series, The Real Housewives of New York.

"Oh no, Mrs. McGillicutty. That cannot be!" you reply realizing you suddenly have a southern accent.

But oh yes indeedy.

Crazy and Housewife seem to go hand in hand, no matter what state you're from. Trust me. I know what I am talking about here.

Oh you still don't believe me?

OK. I guess I'll have to prove it to you.

''Real Housewives Of New York City'' Season 3 Premiere Party
Luann De Lesseps as Mrs. Nesbitt
Mrs. Nesbitt, as she is sometimes called, really prefers the term Countess. Countess spends her days throwing her weight around, demanding all her “subjects” in Oklahoma treat her like royalty (sound familiar New York friends of Ms. De Lesseps?) even though everyone in Oklahoma really knows that Countess means she is just another Okie wife who happens to be married to a Count. And although the title Count sounds all high and mighty, any good Okie knows that a Count is just a lackey or lesser companion to other legitimate royal higher ups. Although Diva can be a royal pain in the bootay, she tries to be a benevolent dictator, and most Okies love her for it.

(Following me so far?)

Bravos Upfront Party New York City
Kelly Bensimon as Mrs. Hart
Mrs. Hart is a housewife who lives in her own world, a world not completely clear to the Okies around here (or the New Yorkers around Kelly). What she lacks in intellectual clarity, she makes up for in oozing hotness. And although she has many offers from Playboy (just like Kelly), she prefers a simpler life of boyfriend jeans, Okie home cooking, and writing her memoirs about growing up so deliciously hot in the world of the often televised toothless Okie.

(It's all getting clearer for you isn't it?)

Bravo Media's 2010 Upfront Party
Alex McCord as Miss Priss
Miss Priss, secretly a nature girl and earth mother, was dropped into the more plastic part Oklahoma and the nouveau riche when she married an Okie. She spends her days with her family trying to make things even, but occasionally as every good earth mother experiences, she has trouble with the organic beings sharing her household and living with one of them there highly educated brainy types (or a highly metro sexual one like Alex's). She enjoys volunteering her time, making flat puppets of her friends, and enjoying life in general.

(Alright. If that one didn't bring it all into focus for you,
the next one surely will.)

Bravo Media's 2010 Upfront Party
Jill Zarin as Mrs. Sinclair
Mrs. Sinclair, the only one in the bunch who could survive being stranded on a deserted island, has spent most of her time on this earth living the good life in Oklahoma. Although proud of her skill set, Mrs. Sinclair finds herself the object of evil gossip and although she has been told by several jealous ill wishers to “get a life.” (Poor, poor Jill. She really does need to stop living off of the sadness of others.) She, however, says she's quite happy with the life she has, “thank you very much.”

(You're a believer now aren't you?)

"The Real Housewives Of New York City" Season 2 Premiere Party
Bethenny Frankel as Mrs. Albright
Mrs. Albright, our local chef extraordinaire, spends her days fighting the social pressure (mostly from the self-dubbed "Skinny Girl" Bethenny) from outside of her Okie walls to cook healthy, organic meals. As we all know, no good Okie has a meal with out a lovely shade of brown either gained by a deep fryer or some delicious full fat cheese. Deep in her heart Mrs. Albright knows this, but every once in a while she succumbs to the pressure by coming up with a tasty salad recipe to share. Despite her weakness, Okies have fallen in love with her, especially when she tells them about her other true loves, the Sooners and posing naked.

(OK. So maybe Bethenny is really the naked poser, and Mrs. Albright doesn't actually like to pose naked. But the rest is totally true. I promise.)

Bravo Media's 2010 Upfront Party

Ramona Singer as Ms. Carmichael
Ms. Carmichael is a housewife that is enjoying the exploration of her newly re-vamped life. (Could Ramona talk about her new look on life more?) Although excited by the prospects of new adventures with her quickly growing children, she is mostly excited by her freshly redesigned hair claiming, “It’s a new sassier do and new sassier me!” Shallow though she may be, the rest of the housewives can’t help but love her and spend their time trying to encourage her to be all that she can be. (Where as The RHNY encourage Ramona to turn down her crazy eyes and lay off the Pinot Grigio.)

(You are now so much of a believer you're thinking of stalking me aren't you?)

LuAnn de Lesseps, star of the reality TV series The Real Housewives of New York City hails a cab on Madison Avenue, New York
LuAnn De Lesseps as Mrs. McGillicutty
And that brings us to our final housewife, me, Mrs. McGillicutty. If you look closely at the picture you can see that in fact I am the twin of Mrs. Nesbitt (known by The RHNY as the rude and hypocritical half of LuAnn De Lesseps). Although some call me her “evil twin” and state that I’m "crazy" and "jealous" of the fact that my sister married a Count when I was so "stupid" to marry a plain old native Okie, nothing could be further from the truth. I love my sister, and I am completely happy with all that life has brought her. 

Of course if you believe that, then you probably believe the rest of my comparisons of the Okie Housewives to the New York ladies I’ve presented to you today. So who is the “stupid” and "crazy" one now?

Not me.

(And now you've stopped stalking me haven't you? Was it the "stupid" bit?

Yeah. I always go too far.)

~~Mrs. McGillicutty

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