Kelly is a popular name.
And for the most part, I'm used to having such a popular name. Most of the time, in fact, I like the Kelly's I meet. I mean lets face it, most Kelly's are a pretty cool bunch of people. Right?
The Real Housewives of New York introduce Kelly Killoren Bensimon. Sure she looks pretty normal on the outside. She's a single mom in New York. She has a couple of kids. She seems to be interested in her kids. She writes for a magazine. She models. But then, well then we realize after a few episodes that she's an odd duck.
We get the first clue in the way she says "Hi." It's not a regular "Hi." She tends to go into this weird, slightly hoarse, falsetto voice and says "Hi-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Hi-eeeeeeee! Hi-eeeeeee!" Perhaps this is the first sign that she's not all there.
Then in every episode she says weird things like telling people she's super smart because she went to Columbia. (I'd like to see the documentation on that one myself.) And follows up with "I don't eat processed foods. I actually like gummy bears." OK then.
Later Kelly says while trying to fight with Bethenny, "You're making lemons out of lemonade."
Bethenny replies, "That actually means you're making something good out of something bad."
Kelly retorts, "Not necessarily." Ummm Kelly, yes. That's exactly what it would have meant, if you had gotten the saying right.
But the worst happened when I watched a preview for next week's The Real Housewives of New York in which she says to Bethenny hysterically, "I think you are trying to kill me." And she confesses to her friend Jill Zarin in another part, "I've had nightmares for the past week about Bethenny stabbing me."
Kelly says what? She thinks Bethenny's trying to kill her?
OK, wait a minute.
First we have weird voices. Then we have nonsensical speech. And finally we have paranoia. I'm no shrink, but I think there's a diagnosis in there somewhere. And it doesn't involve sanity.
Although at this point I should feel sorry for her, but man, she's named Kelly. She's ruining the name! Last episode when Bravo did a survey that asked "who would you like most to be pushed overboard on the ladies' trip?" my vote was Kelly. I'd be happy to help push her. After all, I can't have her varnishing the cool Kelly name.
Unless of course she's willing to change her name. Then we could talk about another choice. Just ask that guy I dated who is formerly known as Kelly. He was more than happy to change his name. After all, I only had to explain it to him once.