Real Housewives of New York - Oh Please Be Quiet

NEW YORK - MARCH 04: (L-R) Jennifer Gilbert, Jill Zarin, Countess LuAnn de Lesseps, Kelly Killoren Bensimon, Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan attend the 'Real Housewives of New York City' Season 3 premiere party at La Pomme on March 4, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images)
So I sat down tonight to watch part two of the Real Housewives of New York Reunion.


I just have one question.  If you watched, were you as exhausted as I was by that whole discussion?  I'm sitting here trying to think of something positive to say about that entire banter, and all I can think is, "I have to watch another one of those episodes?"  These women are insane.

You know who they remind me of, besides high school girls?  They remind me of, well, Oklahoma housewives.

Oooooooo...them are fightin' words Mrs. McGillicutty.

OK, OK.  Don't attack me.  They're not like all housewives.  They're certainly not like any of the housewives that write for this web site.  And they're certainly not like any of the housewives that visit this site.

I guess I should be more specific.  They remind me of a certain breed of "housewife" that I see in my little old piece of Oklahoma. If you want to see these women you can find them most often spending half their days at the fancy gym and the other half at the beauty salon.  When they're not at the beauty salons, they are spending their time in boutiques or at the mall getting themselves presentable for their latest social gathering.  And really, they don't do much else.

They have maids taking care of their homes.  They have yard guys mowing their lawns.  They have designers working on the interior and exterior designs.  They might even have someone cooking for them, but often they just grill themselves a tiny little piece of chicken as to not destroy their latest plastic surgery with cellulite infiltration.

And then, when they get together with other ladies, ladies who do lunch or coffee, they sit around and complain.  Their husband is never home.  They're the only one's who take care of the kids when the nanny isn't available.  Someone has hurt their feelings.  They feel under appreciated.

You see these women are grumpy.  You look at them and wonder what they could possibly be grumpy about, but the fact of the matter is they're grumpy.  They're grumpy because they haven't enough in their lives to keep their minds busy.  They have too many people taking care of all of their stuff.  When they don't have enough to do during the day, they start to think that getting to the gym to get that perfect body, or getting that perfect outfit for that social occasions, or researching the latest plastic surgery is truly important.  Their minds yearn to be occupied.  And the screaming for intellectual stimulation in their heads gives these women a pinched up look on their faces that people often misinterpret it as hunger.

Oh they're hungry all right, but not just for food. They're hungry for something to get rid of the boredom, but instead they become bitter and look to everyone else to solve their problems, making them unbearable to be around.  And that makes them the particular breed of housewife I'm talking about, the ones that are exactly like the Real Housewives of New York.

The only difference between these Oklahoma women and the women on the show is one thing.  Their accents are much nicer to listen to than those whiny, harsh, nasal New York accents.  And for that, I will always be grateful.

Oh look!  I think I just found my something positive.

~~Mrs. McGillicutty

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