I have three children, the oldest of whom is a 13 1/2 year old girl.
It was inevitable. We knew it was coming. We have been telling ourselves for years it was going to happen. We have tried to become as prepared as possible.
She has a boyfriend.
*cue dramatic, scary music, maybe a lightning flash and thunder clap*
Actually this isn't her first one. And actually actually, this boyfriend was her first boyfriend all the way back in 4th grade. They have history. Eeek.
She is not your typical 13 year old. And by not typical I mean "She is a knockout, turns heads everywhere we go, has a figure that could (and probably will someday) stop traffic and looks more like a 16 year old" Someone hold me. Fortunately, she is very modest and doesn't like to show off a lot of skin and/or shake what her momma gave her. This doesn't ever have to change. In fact, we talked seriously about trying to set her up with one of the teenage Duggar boys. Those Duggars don't kiss until their wedding day. But apparently those Duggars do like to......
Nevermind. We're not going there.
My daughter and her boyfriend are both really good kids. They go to the same school and are in the same grade. He and his family recently started going to the same church we attend. He lives about three miles from us, which is thankfully mostly highway so I really don't worry too much about either of them sneaking out right now to walk to a secret rendezvous spot between the two houses. Abby's pretty scared of cars. This is totally to our advantage. I will show her graphic images of car vs. pedestrian accidents if that's what it takes to keep her from even entertaining the thought of a mid-night tryst.
I remember being 13 and stating loudly and proudly that kissing was "gross" and if I was never kissed that'd be fine by me. A mere two years later I was singing a different tune, a tune that sounded more like two mouths in a slobbery liplock.
I don't know if they've kissed. I'm not sure I want to know. Okay, maybe just a little. Nope, changed my mind. Welllll.......okay, no. That's my final answer. For now.
My first kiss happened in October of 1987. I was perilously close to 15. I had held strong to my "gross" declarations until that fated night when I found myself alone with Jeremy Foust in the back of Mason Gurley's mom's Mercedes parked at a Sonic in Joplin. A group of us kids had gone to Joplin, MO, (driven by parents since we were all 14 and 15) to go through spook houses that night. After the final spooky excursion the Mercedes decided to give up the ghost. Apparently all my friends, including my bestie DeLisa, decided that Jeremy and I needed to have a love connection that night and managed to get the two of us in that car alone. And after the Mercedes was again up and running the two of us were the only kids in that car while the other seven crammed themselves into the other vehicle. (Oh, the days of no seatbelt laws.) Mason's mom was totally cool as Jeremy put the moves on me and if she saw what we were doing (she had to have seen what we were doing) (suddenly I feel the need to apologize to that woman) (guess I'll have to Google her) she never let on. There was a lot of slobber swapped in that car that night. It kind of makes me giggle and gag to think about it.
Later that night DeLisa and I were lying in sleeping bags on my bedroom floor, giggling at my descriptions of the countless times Jeremy and I had sucked face, I felt so grownup and mature.
And that is why I will never let my daughter leave the house again. Or ride in a Mercedes. Or go to spook houses....
I think I'll finish this post and go see if anyone is having a sale on turtlenecks in her size.