Ah, greetings from The Ritz-Carlton in Cancun. Yes, yes I know what you are thinking, and you are right. Thanksgiving in Mexico, and yes I am all ALONE! You see my kids are at their in-laws this year for Thanksgiving, but I get them to myself for Christmas. And boy, what a Christmas we will be having- especially if I convince this hunka hunka burning Pedro to come home with me. Ooo-la-la, do his hands ever give a girl a massage. I'm thinking that I might even surprise the other housewives with him for our PJ's, Cocktails & Pigtails Christmas Party! We will also be having the most awesome non-traditional Christmas dinner ever. You see, I have been invited into the kitchen of Chef Rory Dunaway. He invites only 12 guests into his luxurious kitchen to explore and savor a four course menu tailored to the occasion. Each course is paired with the most exclusive Mexican boutique wines from Valle de Guadalupe, Baja California.
Speaking of the other housewives, what do you think of my angels? Aren't they just fantabulous? I had to practically just beg them to take a break and let me dust the keys off of my laptop in order to get a post in. All I get to do these days is sit in front of my PC at home and do a few edits and read. I have to say, they are 8 very committed housewives. Committed to the blog, to their friends, and most importantly their families and that is one reason why I put my size 12 foot down and said, "Girls, today is mine!" But, not before I found out exactly what they are doing today. Now, is when I'm going to rat them out!
Mrs. Bundy is going to try really hard and politely stuff herself with the 4.5 lbs of turkey that has been bought for her. Yes folks, when you buy a turkey, you buy 1.5 lbs per person attending and since she has three Thanksgivings to attend my advice is to wear sweatpants and your heavy coat and walk the one mile distance in between houses.
Mrs. Edwards is enjoying the cold and overcast sky for sure. It's in her blood from what I understand. Brrrrrr, I'll take Mexico any day over a Canadian front! I'm sure she has a guest in her front pocket or purse and I'm sure we will also see pictures of that guest pretending to eat fowl- because no one has ever seen pocket Edward eat, correct?
Mrs. Hart has a little confusion with the holiday and thinks she is trying out for Santa's sleigh. Yes, she is on some kind of reindeer diet of carrots and one bite of everything else, excluding sweets. Crazy Woman. Something to do with a ballet recital in April where she has to dance to Beyonce's "Single Ladies"- doesn't she know she is not single?
Mrs. Albright got out of making the turkey again this year. Lucky Bird! (I wouldn't want to be brined and stuffed by that woman either, she probably doesn't even know which end to pull the innards out of.) She is going to be celebrating the weekend eating meatballs and drinking Long Island Teas. Now that's what I'm talkin' about.
Mrs. Sinclair received an email that she won a trip to the Cayman's, so she was very shocked on Monday when she and her family went to the airport and found out it was all a hoax and all of her credit card information had been compromised. We have warned her a million times to not give information like that over the internet. So now she is meeting her family at The Cracker Barrel. No dirty dishes for her, no messy stove, and someone else is re-filling her drink-still all inclusive, right? Make sure you pick me up a Christmas ornament.
Mrs. Priss is where I would want to go, if I were at home. She is cooking for everyone of her family in that humongous kitchen, such a domestic goddess. All while tending to 2 kids, 2 dogs + 1 hamster, and avoiding all the extra unfinished spousal projects around the house. She will probably do all of this while writing a few new RHOK posts, because she certainly never wastes any time!
Mrs. Coco wins hands down with the farthest trip and probably the most people around the dinner table today. She is serving up sides for about 25 family members. I do hope that she dresses that darling angel of hers up and takes lots of pictures, we do need to see updated pictures my dear!
Last, but certainly not least, Mrs. Montgomery, oh I can't wait to compare pictures of hunka hunkas! Mrs. Montgomery's latest project is quite admirable. Before feeding her family, she will be serving it up at the local soup kitchen, part of her latest charity project. She makes me smile and I am so happy to call her my girlfriend. The values and compassion she is teaching her children simply amaze me. Great job my dear.
Now that I have ratted out each of my angels, they truly are angels you know, it is time for my appointment with Pedro- oh a woman can certainly get used to a Thanksgiving like this. Until next time.