Tuesday

How Families Are Made

For the last few months, our son Jacob has been reminding us about his upcoming birthday.
Jacob has also reminded the checker at the grocery story, the waitress at Sonic, the bus driver, and any other random stranger we might pass on the street.
It is an exciting thing to turn seven.

The births of both of our boys is definitely something to celebrate.  Michael is our firstborn.  Everything about pregnancy and the expectation of his arrival was an experience to remember and cherish.  Jacob is our baby.  We waited for his birth for almost three years.  Why so long?  Jacob is adopted.

I hear people say things about adoption that I really don't understand.
"I couldn't do it - better you than me."
"Now that you adopted, you will get pregnant."
There were also insinuations that all adopted people end up bad.
And I think, really?
You wouldn't believe the things that truly wonderful people will say.

For me, adoption is a beautiful way to make a family.  Is it easy?  No.  It is messy and complicated.  The birth mom can change her mind.  Prenatal care may not happen.  It is risky.  But ultimately, it's about a baby finding a home.  It's about a desire to have children.

Seven years ago from now, the Doc and I got a phone call that a baby named Jacob had been born and his birth mom chose us.  Without the 9 months of the usual preparation, Doc and I made a decision to go get our baby.  Holding him for the first time was like an out-of-body experience.  We were in shock.  The feeling that surprised me most was the guilt I felt over knowing that the absolute joy I felt was happening at the same moment that Jacob's birth mom was feeling so much pain.

Doc's mom had to run out and buy bottles, formula, diapers and a couple of outfits so that Jacob would have something to wear on the way home from the hospital.  Michael's old clothes were still boxed up in the attic!  Doc couldn't put the crib together because we didn't know where the hardware was.  Nothing about Jacob's arrival was organized and prepared.  I'm a planner to the extreme and I do not welcome surprises, except for this one.

The way our family came together is beautiful to me.  As a believer, I know that God made Jacob specifically for us.  He made us specially for him.  Even though he wasn't born from my belly, he is meant to be my baby.  He is the perfect completion to our family.  I can't imagine one day without him.  I hope he always feels the same about us.

Jacob talked to his birth mom on his birthday and this thrills me.  For him to know he is loved and for her to hear his voice makes me smile.  Sound weird?  Too bad.  You'd be surprised how much you can love a stranger who places their baby in your arms.

I know adoption isn't for everyone.  The next time you hear someone speak about adoption, choose your words carefully.  Understand that families are made in all sorts of ways, and that is a great thing.  Just appreciate the beautiful story you hear.


~*~  Mrs. Priss  ~*~

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