What Not To Buy... Your Un-Christmas List for 2010

I have a sick problem that requires me to skim through every single catalog that comes to my home.  There just might be something in there I need.  There just might be that perfect Christmas idea that someone will love and adore until the end of time.  There rarely is.

This year, my idea hunting techniques have not been very helpful.  Most of it is crap.  It is, in fact, so crappy that it inspired this year's un-Christmas list.

We'll start with the obvious.
Only an idiot would spend money on this.
Please tell me you didn't buy one.
 Fake Dog Poo.
Don't pay for this.  I'll send you the real stuff for free!
 Liquid Ass Room Spray
Not only was someone inspired to make it, but they want you to buy it.
Do not be fooled.
This room spray will not smell like roses.
Anyone that thinks they should spray and smell gets what they asked for.
And just when you thought these gifts couldn't stink enough, 
there's the pull my finger pen.
For $5 you can have a pen that makes multiple types of fart sounds.
Guess what else?
It writes!  It really, really does!
Not that I would know, that's just what they say.
All of those exciting gifts are available for purchase on

For the fitness buff, there's the Shake Weight.
This one requires a video.
Keep the volume on so you can hear him at 0:13.
If you don't know why this is wrong, I'm not telling you.

If you really, really listen - there are buying opportunities everywhere.
This gift works well for a Christmas OR Wedding gift.
It's the Better Marriage Blanket!

Need a new doormat?
Look no further than the Lighter Side catalog.
You're welcome.
Last month they had a pad you could stink in your underwear that would muffle the sound of your gas emissions and deodorize them.  You laugh, but I bet one of you starts googling for them.  You know you're thinking about it.

I could go on and on but all good things must end, right?
All bad things must end too.
I'll leave you with a parting gift.

You've seen the Hangover, right? 
You remember the furry guy?
His cousin has a book.
And guess what?
I just might highly recommend it.
Looks hysterical for that man in your life.
Why don't you buy it and let me know.

Got any other wonderful unChristmas ideas to share?  I'd love to hear them in the comments.  I'm having way more fun looking for these than shopping for the real thing.

Happy Shopping!
~Mrs. Priss

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