Okie Housewife Triple Digit Survival Tips

So, yesterday was officially the hottest day of the year (or decade...or whatever).  Some of our local meteorologists said they had never forcasted actual temps that high...116 to be exact.  I think I just worked up some sweat typing that out.  And it is NOT "perspiring"'s SWEATING.  Trust me.  There is nothing girly about our trip digit temps. 

Good hair days?  Forget about them!

Make-up?  No use.  It'll just melt right off your face.

Cute clothes?  Don't waste your time.  They'll be wrinkled and sweaty in all the right (or wrong) places by the time you get where you're going.

Side note:  I googled "hotter than h*ll" images and this is what it gave me...I kid you not!

I can not lie!  I mean I can, but I'm not, 'cause we all know where you go for that. *achem*

Now where was I?  Oh, yes.  In an effort to survive these hotter-that-hades temperatures, I've come up with a few tips and tricks.

Here's my Okie Housewife Triple Digit Temp Survival Tips:
  1. Whatever you do, DO NOT cook.  Tell your hubby that you're conserving energy and you're trying not to run up the electric bill.  He'll appreciate your efforts.
  2. Use the money you're saving from not cooking to buy take-out. 
  3. Sleep nude.  Warning:  This could result in a baby boom around May next year.
  4. Store your bras in the freezer.
  5. While you're at it, store your undies in the freezer.
  6. Let the kids "swim" in the bathtub...this kills two birds with one stone.
  7. If you need to, tell the kids that Nick Jr. and Disney are on strike...this should buy you at least a few hours of kid-free television time.  And discussing the term "strike" will be educational.  <---look at you being an overachiever!
  8. Take a field trip to your local shaved ice establishment.  When you return home, turn that baby into an adult "beverage".
  9. Let the kids have ice cream for breakfast.  It's a dairy product.  Totally nutritional.
  10. Last but not least, think about that ice storm/blizzard we had earlier this year.  You know the one where we were snowed in for days, had three feet of ice on our houses and cars, and all the stores ran out of milk and bread.  Yeah, well December will be here before you know it.
Stay kool.

~Mrs. Edwards
...surviving the heat wave like

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